Low and Hurting
by Faerin
Summary: Harry has changed alot over the summer...Who will notice him now?
1. Hurting

Hurting... 

Harry Potter looked out from the dusty window of number 4 Privet Dr. He despritely wanted to be free. 'Only a few more days and I will really be home' was his only real thought for the past week.  
He got out his guitar that Dudley threw away. Why? Not the right colors. For Harry...it was perfect. A perfect blending of black and red. Just like his emotions. This summer was worse than the last. His true best friend that has been with his since the begining, (Hedwig) had died by being shot by hunters. Hermione, decided that she didn't need to hear his constant sad news and told him to stop writing to her. The only friend Harry had now was Ron. Harry had taught himself how to play this guitar and he kept it by his side constantly. Nobody cared in the house, as long as Harry didn't play too loud. Harry strummed a few strings, put it in tune, and began playing a sad, meloncholy song. Singing along as he played.

"I hurt myself today

to see if I still feel

I focus on the pain

the only thing that's real

the needle tears a hole

the old familiar sting

try to kill it all away

but I remember everything

what have I become?  
my sweetest friend

everyone I know goes away in the end

you could have it all

my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

Harry could feel tears coming on, but he fought them back.

I wear this crown of shit

upon my liar's chair

full of broken thoughts I cannot repair

beneath the stains of time

the feeling disappear

you are someone else I am still right here

what have I become?  
my sweetest friend

everyone I know goes away in the end

you could have it all

my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

if I could start again

a million miles away

I would keep myself I would find a way"

Finally he let a silent tear flow from his cheek. He has changed alot during this summer break. "Emo" as some would call it. He stepped in front of the mirror in his small bedroom. His hair had gotten alot longer, maybe he should cut it. He went to his drawer, reached in, and found his sicissors. He put them to his hair, and noticed the sharpness of the blades. How easy would it be to cut through skin to his veins? Should he find out? He slowly lowered the utensil, with a determined one track mind. He put one blade to his wrist. Is he really going to do this...? He pressed harder at the thought, making small drops of blood trickle down the side of his wrist. Harry felt the pain cear through his body, and decided to stop. 'I hope tomarrow is a better day.' he thought as he held his bleeding wrist and eventually passed out on his bed.

Read and Reveiw! -


	2. We All Have Wings

Okay guys...Second Chapter...Please read and Reveiw... >- 

* * *

"We all have wings"  
Harry awoke to the sound of pounding feet below him. "Wonderful" he thought to himself. He quickly searched his drawers for clean clothes. Not finding many, he figured that he would have to ask the house elves at school to do his laundry. They wouldn't mind, they love work. Today he was going back. He couldn't wait! He looked at his drawers again and sighed. He choose out a tight, black, long sleeved turtle neck sweater, plain and simple. With his black 'baggy' pants with straps. It was good for the first day, he thought. Quickly he glanced at his old and repaired clock. "7:30. I have to get ready!" He said to himself. Harry then turned on his small boom-box, that he had again saved from the garbage from Dudley. There was nothing wrong with this stuff...Was he crazy or what? He turned on a mixed CD that Ron had given him. Ron had finally gotten a computer and could download songs. When he finally got a hang of burning CD's, he asked Harry if he could burn a CD for him. He much rather enjoyed playing around on his new muggle toy. He thought it was the greatest thing since the new Firebolt. Harry told Ron his favorite songs and Ron sent the CD to Harry using Hedwig. Hedwig...Harry still missed her, she was a good owl.

Harry pressed the 'Play' button and loud music came blarring from the small speakers. Immediatly, Harry turned it down a little. He hoped that he didn't inrage his uncle and aunt. He crossed his fingers, and closed his eyes tightly. But luckily, nothing came. Maybe this was gonna be a better day. He looked around and found his trunk, as quietly as he could, Harry began packing his remaining clean clothes, and his magickcal stuff. Lucky for him, Hermione got off her high horse and sent him a new potion set for his birthday. His stuff was kinda starting to look bad. O.O Harry remembered the night before. And he found all the sharpest tools in his room and put them in a small case. There were things like needles, scissors, a shaver, and a small knife. He quickly closed the case, and put it into his trunk. "You never know, things could get bad." he thought to himself as he glanced at his wrist. Noticing dried blood, he licked his sweater and scrubbed it off. No doubt about it, it was going to be a scar. Good thing he is wearing a long sleeved shirt. He packed everything in, stuffing random posters of bands that he liked. Such as "Nine Inch Nails" and "Linkin Park". Also things like his portable DVD player that Ron had sent him, with many, many anime DVD's that Ron had sent with it. You know, things like "Gravitation", "Fruits Basket", "Chrono Crusade", and "Ceres Celestrial". Ron had deffiantly spoiled him this summer.

After the packing session, an owl flew in Harry's bedroom window with both a Hogwarts letter and a regular letter. Interested, Harry picked up the normal letter. Glancing quickly to the bottom it was signed by none other than Draco Malfoy. Wondering why of all the people, Draco Malfoy had sent him a letter, Harry started reading the letter aloud.

**_ "Scar Head,  
Hope you had fun this summer. It's not going to last for long, I learned a few new tricks this summer and I can't wait to try them out on you. You and your little Gryfindork friends. See you in school._**

**_ -Draco Malfoy"_**

Anger filled Harry and he ripped the letter repeatily till it was nothing but shreds and threw it out the window. Harry watched for a second as the wind blew the little bits of paper away. He really wanted to go to the Burrow and go to Hogwarts with Ron and forget about the whole deal about Draco. Harry eventually made his way back to the owl, and picked up the Hogwarts letter and skimmed through the required books and things. He sighed and gave the owl some water and food and freed it. Harry wondered what it would be like to be a owl. To fly through the sky, away from everything. Just fly away. Remembering a small verse Hermione told him, he smiled. He remembered it cause Ron and him were talking about being owls when Hermione recited it. "I told you we all could fly, We all have wings, Just some of us don't know why." Harry laughed at it then. Hermoine always came up with stupid things. Oh well...

He glanced at the clock, "9:40." He had to start getting to the platform. He grabbed his trunk and wand and slowly opened the door. The old door creaked open and Harry tugged his trunk into the hallway and down the stairs. He was met by his Aunt and Uncle, who as usual, were ignoring him. They did this, until they wanted something from him. Harry anouced that he had to get to the Station, and his Uncle growled from behind the morning paper.

"Damn you boy, damn you and that school. Yeah I'll give you a ride to the bloody station. Petunia, dear hand me the keys to the car. Dudley, my boy, I will be right back." He gave Dudley a pat on the head. Of course Dudley was oblivious to this, he was engrossed with the TV and the food. He gave a small smile and headed towards the door. Harry pulled the knob and entered the outside world for the first time in the summer. He took a deep breath and stepped out into the hot and foggy morning in Surey.

When they finally arrived at the station, Harry had to hurry to get to the platform, running he reached the wall in which he had to run through. He got a quick look at the clock "10:50" Harry entered the wall and stepped onto the platform. Leaving his luggage at the proper place, Harry climbed aboard the train to hopefully see Ron. Finding a compartment with Hermione and Ron, he entered. Hermione stared at him and smiled. Her eyes filled with a crush-like look. Confused, Harry sat beside Ron. Ron just had a blank look about his face.

"Bloody Hell, mate! You look...good!" He gave a quick look over on Harry.

Harry just sat there and took it all in. Yes...It was very good to be back.


End file.
